Battle Of The Toilet Seat

Each and every day, there is an all out war over the toilet seat. You see I live with a little boy. I take that little boy to work with me, where I care for two little boys. That is 3 boys using the bathroom all day long, and I struggling to try and be victorious in the battle of the toilet seat. 

I have gone to painstaking efforts to potty train my boys in a complete way. Many people think successful potty training is just getting all the pee in the potty. For me that is simply one of the steps in the whole process.  I train on the success of the whole trip to the bathroom, which includes lifting and lowering the lid and seat of the toilet, flushing, and proper hand washing. And all of my boys completed their training with flying colors. But a slow revolt has begun to occur, and it isn’t pretty.

 I have one boy that is notorious for peeing before lifting up the toilet seat, and yes the result is a seat that no one else would dare sit on. This is also the same child that will scold the other children if they pee on the seat and don’t clean it up.  My thought is always, what the pickles? You have to lift the lid to pee, why not lift the lid and the seat at the same time. I get that the application of logic is asking too much when it comes to boys and peeing, but I set high expectations.

 I have one boy who is diligent about lifting the lid and seat, but is unable it put them back down after he is finished. Umm, hello? You had to lift them to go, put them down before you leave. This is also the same child who refuses to point down. The cleaning lady now recognizes she should also rinse the bathroom trashcan after removing the dampened trash.

 Then there is my last boy who magically lifts the lid and seat, and then returns it the way that he found it. But this little guy is bucking the traditional way boys pee into the toilet. Instead of standing straight on and peeing, he stands on the side of the toilet. Yup, we have all kinds of over spray issues.  The bathroom is a CSI episode in the making.

 I have developed a few rules for myself in order to survive the possible mine field of issues I could face in simply trying to use the bathroom.

  1. Never enter the bathroom in bare feet. You think sitting on a wet toilet is gross? Imagine stepping into a puddle in a bathroom. Holy disgusting!
  2. Always turn on the light to ensure you can see the toilet seat has been put down. Nobody wants to fall into the toilet…especially those of you whose kids don’t flush.
  3. Always wipe the seat down, NO MATTER WHAT! Trust me, I have thought about buying toilet seat covers. But instead I grab a quick handy wipe and pray that will be enough to protect me from the random drops of pee, which have found their way onto the seat.

I suppose it could be worse…mmm maybe not. My hope is that I can transform my boys into thoughtful bathroom sharers, who don’t leave others saying “What the pickles?”




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