In the back of every Mom’s closet, there should be a door. And that door will lead to every Mommy’s dream spot. Now, of course every Mom’s spot is a little different. Having given this a lot of thought, I think I have my spot perfected.
My time out spot is heavenly. As my hand pushes the door open and I pass over the threshold, a warm breeze brushes across my bikini-clad skin. A bikini you ask? Why yes, because in my time out spot, I have a perfectly sculpted bikini body. I just do. No need to question it, just let me live in the fantasy for as long as I can afford to let my time out last. At about two steps inside my wonderful time out spot, a handsome young man with the body of a Greek god hands me my favorite cocktail. What his name is doesn’t matter; the fact that he is beautiful, and promises to keep the cocktails flowing is the only important fact that anyone needs to hold onto. Next, warm sand is slipping through my toes as I head towards a perfectly placed lounge chair, perched ocean side. The lapping of small waves creates the perfect amount of white noise. On the table next to my chair is a stack of books, which magically get replenished. Genera is not important, the fact that there is time for reading, which doesn’t involve a meeting time or a request for a bake sale item, makes this the whole scenario perfect. I snuggle into my chair, grab my book, and begin to feel warm hands caressing my feet. Yup, that’s right, another hot guy rubs my feet while I lay ocean side with a cocktail and a book. It’s absolute perfection! No screaming kids, not annoying husbands, not pooping pets, no cell phones that magically seem to not stop ringing, no one else…well except the hot guys. Absolute peaceful bliss.
But wait, I know you’re thinking, this is not a real spot. Of course it’s not. What Mom, stay at home, work outside the home, with babies or tween kids or otherwise has time to go to a place like this? I’m so busy, there are days I am lucky to get a handful of goldfish and the two grapes that the kids dropped on the floor, for my lunch. The point of this exercise, for me, is I can create a quick escape in my mind whenever I need it. When the kid throws his shoe out the window of the moving car, BAM, I go to my time out spot. When all three boys are arguing over a tiny Lego piece, BAM, my time out spot. When the dog eats a snail and starts puking his brains out…you are starting to see where this is going.
All too easily we get overwhelmed by the craziness, which comes along with parenting. For some of us, a quick session on social media provides a quick escape, for others it is sitting in the sun during naptime. And for a large portion of my friends, it is the sweet golden elixir produced by fermented grapes. Oh how a good glass of wine can make so much, better, so quickly. But there are those times when a quick escape to Mommy’s time out spot is just the ticket to maintaining sanity in the insane world of raising kids. Because while it is our kids job to make us completely bat shit crazy, I also think a little self-preservation is necessary. Otherwise we will all be saying, “What the pickles!”